ferrget mii not~~//**

2006-10-14T19:11:00.000+08:00

was tagged to do this...hahahs.supposed to be doing my english essay..juz kinda needa br8 i guess...

1. Full name: Michelle Yeo Hui Xian
2. Name backwards: naiX iuH oeY ellehciM
3. Meaning of the name: "Who is like the Lord?" french feminine form of Michael. one of the seven archangels in Hebrew tradition and the only one identified as an archangel in the Bible. kudos to my church teacher for this info. whee~
4. Nickname: shell; chelle...ionno xD
5. Screen name: .:: [mi] ::.
6. D.O.B: 050891 august baby!(:
7. Place of birth: Singapore
8. Nationality: Singaporean
9. Current location: northern part of s'pore?
10. Star sign: leo! * roar*
11. Religion: christian(:
12. Height: 163~165?
13. Weight: ard 52~55?
14. Shoe size: 39~40 i think..
15. Hair colour: black
16. Eye colour: black
17. Who do you think u look like: no1 (: every1 is unique
18. Innie or outtie: outtie i guess...
19. Lefty of righty: righty(:
20. Gay,straight,bi or others: definitely straight
21. Best friends: every1 i noe(:
22. Best friends u trust most: u noe hu u are...
23. Favourite pals: every1 i noe
24. Best friend of opposite sex: my didis and gors(:
25. Best buddies: a few?
26. Boyfriend or galfriend: neither. single and loving it(:
27. Crush: nah
28. Parents: ya wad about them?
29. Worst enemy: its better to love den to hate u noe...
30. Favourite online guy: o.O wierd question.. ionno xD
31. Favourite online gal: O.O even wierder...
32. Craziest fren: mel dear and jose?
33. Advice fren: loads of them...esp char and pam dears, nic gor(:
34. Loudest friend: mitch didi(:
35. Person u cry with: no1 in particular
36. Any sisters: 1
37. Any brother: nopes
38. Any pets: a pup and a rabbit
39. Any disease: nopes
40. Pager: fone more like it...
41. Personal phone line: ask me personally xD
42. Phone: mah N73(:
43. Lava lamp: nopes but i do hope to haf 1 (:
44. Pool or hot tub: both?
45. A car: none...yet xD
46. Your personality: hmms...ionno bout dat...
47. Driving: soooon...
48. Room: shared... T.T
49. What's missing: lots of stuff
50. School: nus high
51. Bed: single...
52. Relationship wif parents: so-so
53. Believe in urself: most of the time
54. Believe in love at first sight: yupps(:
55. Good listener: guess so
56. Get along well wif parents: ya
57. Save email conversations: most of the time
58. Pray: definitely!(:
59. Believe in reincarnation: maybe...
60.Make fun of ppl: guess so.. if poking and sarcasm is included xD
61. Like to talk on the phone: YEA!! toking is a gal's forte...
62. Want to get married: why not?
63. Like to drive: yupps (:
64. Motion sickness: nopes
65. Eat stem of broccoli: depends on who's cooking xD
66. Eat chicken wif fork: nopes.wif my mouth...ya duh -.-
67. Dream in colour: sometimes
68. Type wif ur fingers on home role: ???
69. Sleep wif stuff animals: yupps lots of 'em(:
70. Next to you: a pile of books and hwk T.T
71. On the walls of your room: a young photo of myself, shelves...
72. On your mousepad: not using one
73. Dream car: ferrari or porche!!
74. Dream date: too early to sae
75. Dream honeymoon spot: hawaii or paris
76. Dream husband n wife: its too early!!
77. Bedtime: not fixed
78. Under ur bed: boxes and boxes...
79. Single most important question: cant reali think of 1 now
80. Bad time of the day: morning...when i wake up grouchy...
81. Your worst fear: ionno xD
82. The weather is: cool
83. Time: around 8.43pm
84: Date: 141006
85.Best trick did on someone: cant remember
86. Theme song: All I Ask Of U ~ Phantom of the Opera
87. Hardest thing abt growing up: having time ferr myself
88. Funniest experience: tons of them
89. Scariest experience: cant remember
90. Silliest thing u have ever said: i'm sorry when i meant thank-you?
91. Most desperate and funniest thing u have ever done to an opposite sex: depends on the definitions
92. Scariest thing when you are with your friends: nopes(:
93. Worst feeling: being pissed and upset at the same time
94. Best feeling in the world: in love
95. AND NOW THE SABOTAGING BEGINS!!CHOOSE EIGHT PPL TO DO THE QUIZ...mwhahaha...let's see...hahahs.shall not be dat evil since i'm feeling nice today(: any1 who visits this dead blog den xD

People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don't need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be there.

2006-10-04T18:19:00.000+08:00

argh.didnt blog ferr 1.5 weeks le!! T.T hahahs.lots of stuffies happening these days..hmms..lots of things to sae oso..hahahs.lets see~
tuesday~ thankies guys(: didnt haf to celebrate la actualli...surprised mi u noe. hahahs. but u all made my day ^^ big THANKIEWS to everyone...char, pam, john, cheng, mitch... etc. lazy to type all xD
oh ya. during chem prac. WE ARE 1 PRODED CLASS! hahahs.6 breakages in a day.. woohoo(: 3 volumetric flasks, 1 burette, 1 measuring cylinder, 1 beaker xD 1 uber memorable chem lesson huh. juz like wad mdm ng said.1 dat would most probably be rmbed for a long long time .
seems like almost all the rest of the schools are having their EOYs now.hmms. and ours begin when their holidays arrive T.T guess dat's to make up for the missing stack of holiday homework ba..sian...math trigo test 2 on friday T.T and bio quiz somemore...haish :( gotta go n mug..and hopefully something might get in...and stay dere xD

A friend is someone who is always sticking up for you even when he’s know you’re wrong, and someone you want to be around with even when you feel like being alone.

2006-09-23T19:01:00.000+08:00

gosh.figured its ard 1/2 a mth i haven updated le xD kinda busi these daes i guess.expo n log exam's juz over!!hahahs.no nid to face them again ferr a long long time. dat's if i pass T.T didnt haf enuf time either. oh wells. no pt crying over spilt milk. lots of things happening these daes. tired out.
some food for thought:

I was lonely and scared.I asked god for an angel.He sent me something even better.He sent me you.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

A smile is a curve that can straighten out a lot of things.

Sometimes we must get hurt in order to grow; we must fail in order to know. Sometimes our vision clears only after our eyes are washed away with tears.

An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind.

if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain

Whats worse? a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?

i wish i were a little girl because skinned knees heal so much faster than broken hearts.

Why do we always love the ones who hurt us, and hurt the ones who love us?

Love is a rose, but you better not pick it, it only grows while it's on the vine.

2006-09-06T16:57:00.000+08:00

woots the YEAH! camp rawked!!
but we extreme-X ers rawk even more!
hahahs.
hmms. an overview of the camp ~
morning met up wif nic cheng and char at clementi interchange. reached school ard 8.30 i guess.assembled in the theatrette. mitch didi was uber late! hahahs.made a grand entrance afterwards. sara( in-charge) came up to ask us to be camp facilitators since we were the oldest and we knew the school pretty well. kinda last min and surprising. separated us into 6 grps. hmphfs. if not char dear n i would've been in the same grp T.T nic and mel were both in grp 3 cos nic had to go off 1/2 way. yupps. the other faci was siti(: den we had to bring our grp members to the hostel. unpacked some stuff. sorry kai fen ferr always mixing up ur name wif some1 else's. xD i've a horrible memory. met baq in the theatrette ferr some ice-breakers. my grp rawked! hahahs. by den we were 1 of the few grps which were uber close le. den went off to loving hearts multi service centre. on the bus we went nuts laughing! hahahs.would u believe it lar. barely knew each other ferr more den a few hrs n chatting lyk some long lost frens. and XIANG LAN dun worry kaes. u're definitely a sec 2(: took notes ferr the presentation afterwards. went baq to school ferr lunch. den had the personality thingy. was an ESFP. hahahs. played the chicken game. all of us faci hid at the back after we became statues! uber funni(: thank god char n i went up to change out of e sch uni during lunch. had the rocket race after dat. got wet n dirty! but it was uber fun. had to earn pts to buy materials to build the launcher by playing games. as usual. den we completed them all! hahahs. and our dance-cum-cheer item rawked(: all of us learnt it in a min or two. the caterpillar game and the flour balloon game was uber fun! andand the mass skipping was fun toos! though we had to do it many times becos of david's long legs and his timing xD a big sorry toos to ya huan ferr making u jump even wif a sprained ankle. found out our rocket was a water balloon. den bought 2 tables and rubber bands. assembled at the field. after MANY tries finalli figured we needed paper plates as well. ran down to see if we still could get some. the in-charges were evil! wanted mi to dance and sing in exchange ferr 2 plates. hmphfs. ended up wif the whole stack of plastic 1s. whee~ den decided to throw the rocket in a frisbee way. tested wif it squashed btw 2 plates and 4. was either too unstable or too heavy. den had to compete le. so decided to try 3 plates xD IT ACTUALLI WORKED! and the balloon DIDNT burst! WOOTS! and our successful launch was the furthest toos! suria u're a gr8 thrower by the way. so proud of all of u (: went baq to wash up and stuff. char and i went to the 2nd floor washroom. hahahs. singing all the way. uber fun. though the lights went out 1/2 way ): felt UBER clean. had group encounters. sat tgt and discussed the presentation. assembled to watch DRUMLINE afterdat in the audi. uber nice show. the milo was uber hot! most of us had milo tarik xD after the show ended we were supposed to haf group debrief. apparently every1 was too tired to be bothered. hahahs. went baq to the rooms ard 11+ . chatted wif char ferr awhile. listened to my ipod ferr the whole nite. and whee i was the onli 1 hu rmb to bring along my beloved fone charger(: so i could afford to leave it on juz in case of last min notices. rained heavily ard 4+ . thunder and lightning =X

in the morning met the guys ferr breakfast ard 845. the breakfast was the best meal so far(: borrowed ice from the hosetel ferr the hot milo. hahahs. played warm-up games in the theatrette. ended up wif 25 push-ups as punishments. so we darling facilitators decided to do a few each since all they wanted was 25 in total. had team strategy games after dat. whee~ we won every game again! hahahs. started off wif the blind man's buff. mitch and i couldnt participate. watched them build wif the loose lego pieces. uber fast! and perfect straight down to the tiniest detail(: went on to the electric fans. hahahs. had to join cos ya huan couldnt play. but went out thru the window of opportunity. grinns ^^ backache from the pyramid building though :( suria we're so sorry ferr leaving u hanging dere at the end. wasnt on purpose. juz too disorientated wif all the shouting and stuffies. SORWIE. and THANKS ferr not holding it against us after dat(: last 1 was the bomb squad. we were uber impromptu. wasnt planned dat the strings got tangled neways. and CHENG this proves dat SLOW AND STEADY still wins the race(: so much ferr suaning us at 1st huh xD but ur group was fast toos kaes. hmms. den had lunch and went to bathe at the 2nd floor washroom again xD group encounters(: followed by presentations. den ended wif a short video and a ceremony. the ribbon thingy. uber touching. many red eyes. pity the camp had to end so quickly. times flies when u're having fun i guess. esp when u're in one of the most enthu and co-operative group ):
facilitators went to pizza hut ferr dinner afterdat. siti had to go off though. sad :( den finished close to 2 bottles of cheese xD bout 70 bucks. and our members were msging us! yupps. u guys serious RAWK(:
xiang lan
suria
kai fen
ya huan
haini
jie wei
caroline
david
thanks ferr making this camp an uber meaningful 1 ferr mii toos. all the laughter and joy(: andand i seriously meant every word i said during the ceremony ya. grinns ^^ MISS U ALL LYKE MAD! T.T LURVE U GUYS.RAWK ON! (:
p.s. i was uberly hyper thruout the whole camp! hahahs. juz ask ani1 of them xD god noes why. whee~

What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lives within us.

2006-09-02T18:42:00.000+08:00

i dun care anymore. its fine if u wan to drown urself in ur pain and nvr stand up again. its fine if u wan to keep it in and leave it as a scar on the soul forever. i dun wan to care so much anymore. it hurts hell. u might noe but dun gif it a damn. so y shuld i worry den? and ferr those hu are spectaculating. on friday morning i met cheng at raffles nia. which is lyk, a stop away from tanjong pagar? and after going to plaza sing he had to go newton to pass smth to his dad so we were on the same train for a few stops. i went home alone. wad's the fricking big deal. and did i get to sae these out? i'm letting u think wadever u wan.not bcos u're rite, its bcos it wun make a damn difference. i'm tired of this. either way its wrong. its my fault nonetheless.
its okie if u dun understand. but will you juz let me go. and treat it like a blessing in disguise. i'm not worth it.

Don't say you love me unless you really mean it, because I might do something crazy like believe it

2006-09-01T20:31:00.000+08:00

WOOTS~finalli last dae of school le. so fast term break. uber tired. hmms. these days lots of stuff happening. shall post in a chronological order den(:

MONDAY
whee today 1st swimming lesson. didnt get to swim. neways nid new costume le.going out wif char dear to buy soon ^^ nth much happened. usual day. tmr is e exam le! surprisingly not feeling too nervous or anithing. mayb it's too early to tell la xD

TUESDAY
hahahs.woke up ard 8+ . class was watching a movie in the theatrette. some technology thingy. can't realli rmb. neways let ferr toa payoh ard 10. nearly got lost cos i was too busy referring the the scores and making sure i rmb the counting correctly. reached christofori ard 1045. thought my slot was at 11. waited dere till lyke 1130. den realised my slot was at 1134. -.-'" waiting dere made mi uber nervous. oh wells. the examiner was DAMN strict. sian. neways thankies guys ferr e encouragement(: went baq to school after dat. middle of chem lesson. 4got to bring a band to tie my hair T.T sian. wad a day.

WEDNESDAY
WTH. we're still having to get onto dat damn stage and perform during the celebration. what is this. the reason we didnt wan to play wasnt becos we were still upset bout us not being acknowledged in the breaking barriers concert. COME ON. we're not dat childish. and juz great. we're performing a new piece. and i juz received the scores. ha. wish me luck tmr. and guess u finalli haf to relent to us playing 发如雪. but HELL, in the canteen?! nvm. i'll juz carry on thinking bout the shopping i can do wif char dear tmr. ** p.s. to some1 i spoke to today: i thought u were a different kinda teacher. guess you're no different. JUZ ANOTHER HYPOCRITE.

THURSDAY
had teacher's day celebration today. WTH. put us 1st item somemore. oh wells. considering we onli rehearsed ferr bout 1/2 hr, the standard was pretty okie. could've been lots LOTS betta. gif us a few more weeks and the correct mood and you would've been amazed. sian. nvm. went to taka todae! wif char and ryan. hahahs. CHAR DEAR WE RAWK! gal power huh. whee~ bought similar costume design as char. and DEAR I'M DEFINITELY FATTER DEN U LAR. so dun worry kaes. i'll look worse T.T shall workout together someday (:

FRIDAY
had to go ferr the yellow ribbon project today. whee didnt haf to wake up too early. den took mrt over to tanjong pagar. waited 1/2 hr ferr celine. den decided to go ard wif vanessa 1st. uber demoralising at the beginning. but after getting the hang of throwing down ur pride and wasting all ur saliva ferr a mere 20cts, its pretty okie lar. dere are still nice ppl out dere hu would approach u and smile and drop a $10 note in wifout u even having to open ur mouth. grinns ^^ pam dear u proded lar. chiobu ma.ppl definitely approach de lo. no wonder ur tin so heavy xD oh wells. after meeting at somerset went to plaza sing to walk walk. pam and celine and i. whee~ den left ard 5.10, reached home not too long ago.

yupps. dat's pretty much it. hahahs. this 1 week hols is going to b uber crammed. lots of stuff to do. oh wells.

我真的很累了。无论我做的什么事都是错的，说的什么话都是多余的，考的什么成绩都是差的。你对我不满足就算了，不相信我就算了。我和谁来往，和谁交朋友，你也得批评吗？私生活没了，至少让我把学校的生活过得快乐些，真的有那么难吗？几个礼拜前我已渐渐变得更麻了，什么东西都不想管，只想考好成绩，希望能被称赞。就算是短短的两句话“好、好”我也心满意足了。当你并不是夸我成绩有所起劲，而是针对我把物理学的测验搞砸。只不过是一分，对你来说真的有那么重要吗？都说是我粗心大意，你也需要好几天才不再提起它。你说我的心情经常会突然180度的改变，那你有没有发现，超过95%都是因你所说的话而造成的。你说当你指控我时，不开口、不敢发誓就是默认。我开口的话，也许会惹到你暴跳如雷，也许会被你当作耳边风。开不开口会有分别吗？每次就告诉自己是你生气需要发泄就算了，但真的好难、好难。说出口的话再也收不回来；是你告诉我的。好像把心扉关上，把你的话都锁在外头，不让自己被影响到。但你的每一句话有如石头一样，被扔在玻璃窗太多次，总有一天也会碎。你说大家都看得出你不开心，只有我漠不关心。那你来告诉我，我几时告诉过你我心里有多难受？你又几时顾过我的感受？

I am not dying, not anymore than any of us are at any moment. We run, hopefully as fast as we can, and then everyone must stop. We can only choose how we handle the race.

2006-08-27T17:35:00.000+08:00

the concert's over! hahahs. the night performance rawk!(: but the afternoon's was a lil... erms... it encountered lots of problems i guess. apart from dat, it was still fine la. uber pissed. so here's a big SORRIE to anione i accidentally daoed ytd. she reali pissed me off. oh wells. shaldn't go into much details. juz dat it's kinda pointless trying to tok sense into her. sian. reiko u're rite. she's not worth our wrinkles. SMILE(: oh ya. i got married to 4 different ppl under 10 min!whee!hahahs.and the mocktail was kinda cool^^
now onli haf to worry bout the exam on tuesday. oh wells. lots of hwk undone!! argh. feeling so disorganized rite now :(
hmms.oh ya. last friday after rehearsal went to watch movie.THANKIEWS char dear and ryan ferr waiting 4 mi and jose 4 close to 4 hrs in the audi!! hahahs.took a cab to tiong bahru plaza. watched toyko drift. YES CHAR DEAR THE ORANGE 1 RAWKS !!! hahahs.den went to take neos. jose uber cute!! hahahs.c 4 urself~

When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place. and hold on for just awhile more.

2006-08-21T19:21:00.000+08:00

woots.so fast another new week le(:
yays! cleared the snake 3d on my fone last week ^^
den me & jose helped ryan finish up his as well
from lvl 22
hahahs. uber funni
sitting there wif jose and cheng
interchanging between ryan's fone n mine
switching in between lvls
swearing off playing the game
and den returning to it in less den 5min xD
nth else much i guess
haven gotten baq chem and physics tests yet
rather they stay wif the teacher anyways =X
haish. dunno y
this sem's work seem much easier den last sem's
budden maybe is onli cos 1st sem didnt start off wif a right note
and didnt study hard enuf
i seriously dun wanna screw this sem's work up again
there's too much at stake
somehow its lyk a paradox
my thinking and wad i'm doing =X
but after actualli sitting down and sorting things out
lots of things appeared alot clearer
and im planning to swear off alot of things
juz to achieve wad i wan
hahahs. dunno if it'll happen though xD
1 thing for sure
i'm going to devote more time to studying
much as i dun wan to T.T
and no more relationships
4 NOW
dere wun be enuf time to spend anyways
oh wells.
looking forward to the 1 week sept hols!
other den the cip proj dat's going to be at the beginning of it :S
hahahs. expecting myself to go broke again T.T

Relationships--of all kinds--are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and it's lost.

2006-08-17T20:37:00.000+08:00

feeling uber guilty.1 whole week never post le T.T hahahs. these daes lots of tests n quizzes. uber sian. nvr mugged ferr such a long period ferr a long long time le. hallelujah.i lived thru it! got baq quite a few results. chinese and math and chem.still okie la. didn't meet my expectations though T.T disappointed. oh wells. neways over le(:
these daes heard a no. of uber nice english songs. hahahs. somehow nvr noticed them b4. esp these two ~~
falling for you -- Busted
crawling back to you -- Backstreet Boys
thankies to srinath and mitch didi(:
these daes lots of stuffs happening. it's lyk a gust of wind. u'll nvr noe when it might blow at u rite in the face. and u'll nvr noe when you've been blown over till u're lying on ur back and looking up at the sky. oh wells. guess everyone faces different kinds of problems.
kinda stuck in a dilemma. dun feel like going ferr the charity concert performance. haf to perform the 'journey to the west' theme song. and if u happen to hear it before, u probably can imagine wad will happen when the suona comes in during the chorus. not dat it's gregory's fault ferr playing it dat loudly. but den the rest of us tanbo players haf to try to play uber hard in order to let the melody come out at certain sections. against the erhu and di zi toos. worse still, liuqin plays practically the entire piece. and its fine dat we haf to endure the feeling of the strings cutting into the fingertips or dat of the thumb about to be bent backwards from supporting the instrument thruout the piece, we still haf to endure going at the pace the teacher sets and the number of times we end up repeating the piece juz cos they think we're starting to rush and go out of beat. heyys. furthermore, it's not dat we dunwan to play any louder. it's not our fault that the instrument happens to be soft. and even if u happen not to haf prior knowledge to the ways of the liuqin, at least consider the agony our fingers haf been going thru all these while. non-stop playing ferr straight 2 hrs. its uber sore now. sian. its like, yesterday during co prac they announced wanting us to stay baq for the rehearsal next wednesday and friday.cos saturday happens to be the performance itself. ferr 4 hrs each. HELL & THE DEVIL. how m i supposed to go for my piano exam the following tuesday? wif swollen fingers? haish. god help mi out of this. *lift eyes heavenwards and start praying lyk mad*

Think of love as a card game:
first, get rid of the jokers,
throw away the hearts,
keep the diamonds...
then try to get a king

To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage. But we cease loving ourselves if no one loves us.

2006-08-10T18:29:00.000+08:00

hahahs. this morning got pulled out of bed at like, 9+. and it's not like i was asleep or smth. alreadi woke at 7.15. xD juz too lazy to climb out of bed.ying qiu mei den went swimming at 11.yupps. heck bout the hand xD uber tired after dat. but kinda happi. whee~ broke my own record! hahahs. guess it's true dat a desperate person would resort to desperate measures. xD ionno la. abit siao le :D den after dat went straight to make my ic. hahahs. uber bored these daes. sian~ lalala. hahahs. my dad is going to kill me if he finds out smth xD oh wells.

mel: heyys darling! smile more kaes.hahahs.and noe dat i'll alwaes be here. haf faith in god!(:
srinath: if u ever nid a listening ear i'm here kaes. and dun worry bout too much stuffs le. things will fall into place themselves eventually(:
ryan: thankies ferr being a gr8 listening ear when i was bout to overflow. and ferr being understanding. and lots of other things. yupps. u noe xD
cheng: thankiews ferr understanding mi.hahahs. and sorry ya. made u listen to mi complain xD and ferr worrying bout mi dat often toos. yupps(:
pam: dear!! take care ya. and dun follow my footsteps =X hahahs. kidding. but seriously. dun bottle everything up inside ya(: dat's wad we're here ferr kaes.^^
char: hahahs.still uber guilty made u l8 dat dae! sorry dear!! hahahs. next time i'll buy u lunch or smth ^^ yupps. and u're definitely a fanastic listening ear(: thankies ferr dat. and the advice toos(:
john & mitch didis + jose: heyys bros! hahahs.all of u are gr8! grinns.and thanks ferr making mi laugh when i nid it the most. and ferr listening when i wanted to tok. yupps. it meant alot to mi(:

and a big THANKIEWS to every1 out there that i kinda 4got to mention xD

HE'S HER DRUG
AND SHE'S ADDiiCTED
BUT STARTiiNG TODAY
SHE'S GOiiNG TO REHAB

Why do ppl haf to lose things to find out what they realli mean to them? Why do ppl haf to see the results before believing dat it's true? Why do ppl haf to make mistakes and face the consequences before realising where it went wrong? so forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on thee, & i'll forgive Thy great big one on me

2006-08-08T12:53:00.000+08:00

haish. figured i didn't blog bout lots of stuffs happening these daes. uber tired. ionno y either. things are changing so dramatically. i seriously dun gif it a damn animore. go ahead and criticise and sae. i can't be bothered. there are so many others things i haf to think and worry about. had been a uber bittersweet 15th b'dae. once again, thanking those hu remembered. and oh ya, mistake.i ended up choosing the n73 over n80. xD (relax ryan(: newer models are coming out soon) haish. everyone has limits.no matter how many times u try to reassure urself it's juz cos u're overreacting, sometimes the truth is still there. special thanks to those hu helped mi see thru the haze and made sure i didn't do anithing stupid xD pam dear, char dear, mel dear, john didi, ryan, wei cheng, and every1 else hu was there. sorry ya brain not working today xD can't rmb alot of stuffies. dunwan to remember them aniwaes. yuppies.and from pam's blog ~ this particular letter. LURVES darling. i'll keep this in mind(:

The Father's Love Letter

My Child,You may not know me, but I know everything about you. (Psalm 139.1)

I know when you sit down and when you rise up (Psalm 139.2) I am familiar with all your ways (Psalm 139.3) Even the very hairs on your head are numbered (Matthew 10.29-31) For you were made in my image (Genesis 1.27)In me you live and move and have your being (Acts 17.28)For you are my offspring (Acts 17.28)I knew you even before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1.4-5)I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1.11-12)You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book (Psalm 139.15-16)I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17.26)You are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139.14)I knit you together in your mother's womb ((Psalm 139.13)And brought you forth on the day you were born (Psalm 71.6)I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me (John 8.41-44)I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love (1 John 4.16)And it is my desire to lavish my love on you (1 John 3.1)Simply because you are my child and I am your Father (1 John 3.1)I offer you more than your earthly father ever could(Matthew 7.11)For I am the perfect father (Matthew 5.48) Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand (James 1.17)For I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6.31-33)My plan for your future has always been filled with hope (Jeremiah 29.11)Because I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31.3)My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore... (Psalms 139.17-18)And I rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3.17)I will never stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32.40) For you are my treasured possession (Exodus 19.5)I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul Jeremiah (32.41)And I want to show you great and marvellous things (Jeremiah 33.3)If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me (Deuteronomy 4.29)Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37.4)For it is I who gave you those desires (Philippians 2.13) I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3.20) For I am your greatest encourager (2 Thessalonians 2.16-17) I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles (2 Corinthians 1.3-4) When you are broken-hearted, I am close to you (Psalm 34.18)As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart (Isaiah 40.11)One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes (Revelation 21.3-4)And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth(Revelation 21.3-4) I am your Father, and I love you even as I love my son, Jesus (John 17.23)For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed (John 17.26)He is the exact representation of my being (Hebrews 1.3) He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8.31)And to tell you that I am not counting your sins (2 Corinthians 5.18-19)Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled (2 Corinthians 5.18-19)His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you (1 John 4.10)I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love (Romans 8.31-32)If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me (1 John 2.23)And nothing will ever separate you from my love again (Romans 8.38-39)Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15.7)I have always been Father, and will always be Father (Ephesians 3.14-15)My question is “Will you be my child?” (John 1.12-13)I am waiting for you (Luke 15.11-32)

Love, Your Dad.
Almighty God

hahahs.i seriously LOVE this letter. and i'll entrust everything in the lord. for he loves mi ^^

it's hard to live alone, it's hard to choose someone to love,but the hardest part of falling is to admit that you have fallen in love with someone you didn't mean to love from the start...

2006-08-04T16:35:00.000+08:00

hahahs.last few hrs being 14teen le. this is one of the few best daes in my life. **CORRECTION: the BEST dae in my life(: thankiews guys ferr giving mii e presents. u all rawk my shoes off!! xD

char, pam & reiko dears + john & mitchell didis + jose & ryan ~ thankies guys! hahahs. the dog uber cute lars XD andand the bracelet and the fone accessory. a big BIG THANKIEWS(: u all made my day ^^

ryan ~ hahahs. thankies ferr the flowers. they're heavenly (: and i LURVEE the baby breaths. hahahs. andand ferr the card and the bookmark ^^ i'll smile more de. promise =)

cheng ~ thankiews ferr the present ^^ ur taste isn't bad lars. it's beautiful(: hahahs. andand thanks ferr alwaes being there ferr mi. realli appreciate it. it's not dat i dunwan to confide in eu. some stuff reali hard to sae la T.T but every1 is impt to mi kaes. sorry if u feel ever feel neglected, but i onli respond to wad i experience. yupps(: and is not i dunwan to tok to u kaes. is u neber tok to mi xD (sorrie if it doesn't make sense but it's true^^)

mom ~ perhaps our thinkings are seriously not alike. it's not dat i'm going to rebel or anithing. sometimes it's juz hard to haf to listen both to eu and myself. i'll analyse everything b4 i make decisions. it's not as if i can't think. but still, thankiews ferr showing me a side of things dat i often refuse to c and believe. LOVES <3

dad ~ hahahs. actualli i noe dat u wouldn't reali see this post but... still wanted to sae a big THANK-YOU. yupps. ferr obliging mi when i wanted things to go my way. ferr getting caught in between cross-fire and nvr complaining. ferr listening to mi complain my head off and helping mi to find my way out back onto the right path. thought i haven gotten it yet, but thanks ferr the n80 toos ^^ LOVES <3

mei i'm sorwie if i'm leaving u out. everything bout u is impt toos kaes. other den ur hwk xD

and thanks to all hu remembered ^^
hahahs. zhen de hao ai ni men. thanks ferr brightening up my life (:

i'm uber lost le. god lead mi out. gimme clear directions. i'm forgiven becos u were forsaken. i'm accepted becos u were condemned. i'm alive becos ur spirit lives within mi. becos u died and rose again. amazing love, how can this be. dat u my king would die ferr mi. amazing love, i noe it's true. it's my joy to honor u. in all dat i do, i honor u.

2006-08-03T18:42:00.000+08:00

God can you hear me scream
these prayers must not be enough
i trun in every night crying
pretending to act tough
No one seems to understand
this life im going through
never seems to be enough
for him, or me, or you.
I'm wishing i could change
I'm wishing to be me
i just cant help but wonder
when they'll finally see
the girl they think is me
is just a simple fake
the make-up put on my face
makes people call me caked
maybe i should say goodbye
i dont think that they'll care
besides i'm just a girl
another one to despair

If death is god's way of telling you you're "fired", then is suicide our way of telling god "you can't fire me because I quit"?

2006-08-02T17:59:00.000+08:00

hahahs.going out for dinner soon. juz had the sudden inspiration to write smth. shall keep this short and swit toos.hahahs.

You said u loved me,
but still made me cry
You said u loved me
but still told those lies
You said you loved me
but when i nid you ard
You only said u loved me
den left without a sound.

heyys. juz wanna sae a big thank you. ferr alwaes bein dere ferr mi these daes, listening to my troubles, my thoughts, yet nvr commenting if i were right or wrong. ferr giving mi my space and time. ferr giving mi the chance to make my own decisions. ferr being a gr8 shoulder to fall back on when i needed comfort.ferr juz being hu u r. ferr bein able to keep mi company even though it's onli thru sms. YOU NOE HU U R.THANKIEWS.

p.s. it's 2 different ppl. but they're juz as impt ^^

If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country. (:

2006-08-01T22:24:00.000+08:00

haish. i'm feeling so goddamn dead tired this week. ohkays, maybe is from last week. ionno la xD i'm goin to pity my poor brain cells and let 'em rest. not goin to strain them anymore. in fact, i dowan to think much anymore. (not dat i do often,but...) i figured it's pointless. no matter how many times i make it learn gymnas and flip and somersault it over and over in my head, it will still end up dere, but most probably cryin out in pain or smth. wad's the point. i'll end up suffering even more. chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi. god will direct my life (:

today 1st lesson was bio. mel dear wasn't feeling well since morning. pain built up till she couldn't stand it anymore 1/2 way during lesson when dr seah was showin us the silent scream movie. oh wells.seems like a wrong timing. hahahs. lucky both of us watched it b4. hmms. accompanied her to e GO. den a certain ms low fetched us to NUH in mr lim's car. see mel's pain come and go super heartpain lar. she had to suffer so much liddat T.T den went to emergency dat side to checkup. her aunt came at ard 0945. ms low fetched me back at like, 1020. felt like an idiot wearing a jacket and walking across the carpark. somemore the aircon blew directly at me in the car. haish. had a frickin headache. and somehow or rather all the panadols grew legs and sneaked away from me. T.T hahahs. mr ku allowed mi to eat in class! grinns. he's reali nice la(: den had chem test. sure gone case de la. but den everyone said it was a killer paper if u didn't memorize the wshts till they're like, at ur fingertips XD so shuld be alrite ^^ went to the hostel to get some of mel's stuffs( her CHARGERS esp xD) den after school went to see her at e hospital. can walk ard cracking jokes = much, MUCH betta. hahahs. had to go off not long after dat. met a few rv teachers. o.O ionno y either xD oh ya. SRINATH DUN BE JEALOUS OF JOSE LE!!(: hahahs. den went to TTSH to see my grandpa. oso can see much betta le(: hallelujah. reached home ard 7+ , putting on the finishing touches to the eng review now. and i came to this verdict:
MITCHELL DIDI U'LL MAKE A GR8 DOC xD
3 main supporting evidence:
1. words summarized and placed in point form for convenience's sake
2. his HANDWRITING
3. his excellent talent for giving a diagnosis and predicting stuff
cheers! (:
P.S. it's a long term observation. i didn't come to this onli after the english review(:

MEL GET WELL SOON KAES.
and darling remember all the barneys and nemos flying ard ^^
i'm uber confused le. gimme time. and signs. and directions. betta still, gimme a sundial. but i bet i'll still get lost xD

True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending.

2006-07-25T18:00:00.000+08:00

hahahs. nth much to write abt today. hmms.
last saturday was the co concert at dunman high.the 6 performers super pro lars. make us feel so inferior. lucky they didn't haf liuqin players there. XD andand. HAN SIANG DI DI!! dun think u and wei cheng can bulli mi by changing the colors kaes. hmphfs. I'M NOT JEALOUS!! hahahs. but orange will look beri nice on it. yupps. *pouts* i wan!! T.T hahahs. kidding.i'll juz turn green wif ENVY.lol XD the concert ended earlier den expected. went for dinner at macs. yupps. den took bus back (:
sunday had church. den went for the piano recital kinda thing. freezing cold inside the room. had to draw lots on who to go 1st. i was the 2nd last. T.T oh wells. at least over le. and i noe where i haf to be careful the next time (: exams coming in a mth!! hahahs.ionno whether to be afraid or relieved XD
oh ya. someone sent mi this interesting email. kinda cute. bout floriography. or something liddat. XD

Carnation, pink -- I'll never forget you
China rose -- Beauty always new
Chrysanthemum -- Love
Clover, four leaved -- "Be mine"
Daffodil -- Regard
Daisy -- Innocence, new-born, "I share your sentiment"
Forget-Me-Not -- True love
Heartsease -- "I am always thinking of you"
Honeysuckle -- Bonds of love
Heather -- Admiration
Hyacinth -- I am sorry, Please forgive me
Jasmine -- Grace
Lavender -- Luck, devotion
Lilac -- First love
Lily -- Purity, modesty
Orchid -- Love, beauty, refinement
Pansy -- Loving thoughts
Poppy, red -- Consolation
Primrose -- I can't live without you
Rose, red -- Love
Rose, pink -- Grace, beauty
Rose, yellow -- Friendship
Rosemary -- Remembrance, constancy
Snowdrop -- Hope
Star of Bethlehem -- Purity
Tulip, red -- My perfect lover, Reclamation of love
Violet -- Loyalty, modesty, humility
Violet, blue -- Faithfulness

kinda farni how ppl can actualli associate an exact feeling wif a flower. oh wells. nearly 4got. tmr is the 260706(:
HAPPI B'DAE PAM DEAR !! <3
and if i can gif u any flower, i'll get you a pink carnation(:

Love and magic have a great deal in common. They enrich the soul, delight the heart. And they both take practice.

2006-07-24T19:57:00.000+08:00

i never wanted this life to end
but lately my smile has been all pretend
i can't continue to wear this mask
and i know that's when you'll ask.
"why didn't you ever tell me?"
because you were too blind to see
too blind to see the pain I was in
too blind to see the scars in my skin
i wish i was as blind as you
so i couldn't see what i've been through
and just like you i'd be blind to the pain
i could pretend my cheeks are wet from rain
maybe even believe my life wasn't ending
but i'm so sick of all this pretending
because i'm the one who hurts inside
forcing a smile through the tears i've cried
i can't escape this pain i feel
i can't just pretend it isn't real
because i know it's just not okay
and smiling doesn't make it go away

The face can speak of a thousand emotions but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels. Don't be fooled for the happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart.

2006-07-21T17:50:00.000+08:00

hahahs. figured super long neber update le. felt beri guilty ferr neglectin my dahling blog ferr more den a week, so came to update today XD hmms. these days got lots of stuff happening, changing. my grandfather's out of the icu le! thank god(: hmms. everyday bout the same lo.last sunday went to watch the pirates of the carribbean in the evening at cathay ^^ yesterday (thursday) was racial harmony celebration in school. our class won!(: hahahs.9 of us wore ethnic costumes. took lots of photos. hahahs. today was x-country cum napfa de 2.4km. think cleared within 14 mins ba. wif a damn cough and a toopid running nose T.T record!! hahahs.actualli i dun think they measured the distance correctly, but... XD yupps. this week nth much lo. lessons & hwk as usual. going to haf to chiong this weekend clear all the work. T.T
dang yi ge ren hen e de shi hou, sui yan qian zhi you yi kuai fa mei de mian bao, ye de bi bu de yi de ba ta chi xia qu. nan dao wo jiu shi ni yan qian na kuai fa mei de mian bao ma?

ANYONE CAN MAKE
YOU SMILE OR CRY
BUT IT TAKES
SOMEONE SPECIAL
TO MAKE YOU SMILE
WHEN YOU
ALREADY HAVE
TEARS IN YOUR EYES...

Is love really necessary or is it just there to hurt girls and guys? it can be great, but are you really in love or do u just "love" someone so that you don't feel alone??

2006-07-12T21:31:00.000+08:00

i'm disappointed.i thought u're someone alwaes close and there to comfort mi.obviously u had ur problems too,dat's y i didn't wan to bother u down anymore.SERIOUS.it's not cos i didn't wan to share wif u anithing.i thought u shared the same thinking as i did,in at least almost everything.i didn't expect u to be the one to end up turning against mi whether it's on purpose or not.unfortunately the old rules always applies," the greater the expectations, the greater the disappointment".i dun wan to entrust too many things onto ur hands anymore.not dat i dun trust u totally, but becos i'm afraid it'll spill over and overflow.perhaps i'm too caught up wif my things to share everything wif u, but i'm always here if you nid anyone.whether u'll be there ferr mi anot, i can't tell.but as long as i'm doing my part as a close fren, i'm guilt-free.

You.The one dat always bring me down.the one dat tells mi i'm wrong even when i'm right.the one hu's always able to criticise without a care for the world, but cannot accept comments.GIMME A BREAK.aren't u tired of it too? sick of being always pushed around when i'm desperately trying to create a road of my own.tired. When i'm five and i hurt, i used to make a big noise unto the world. at ten i'll only wimper. But by the time i reach fifteen,i'll begin to eat the poisoned apples that grow on my own inner tree of pain.

You said you will always be there,to pick me up when i fall.But everytime i need you,you'll just walk out the door.

2006-07-07T17:04:00.000+08:00

woots.exactly one week since the previous post. hahahs. survived the 2nd week of school le!! (: so proud of it XD sigh. they say what a difference a day makes. imagine what can happen in one and a half-week of school. sho many things happened within this short period of time. it taught mii a lots of life's lessons. guess there're ups & downs this time lor. found the hidden angels of my life, leart to face reality, and never to trust anyone ur 1st instincts tell u not to. i'm so sorry if ani1 out there feels neglected. every1 is impt kaes. juz gimme some time to adjust back. i promise i'll.
i seriously feeling veri tired le. imagine swimming towards the surface wif as much strength as possible, and there's something above u pushing ur head down.the kinda feeling is as though u're about to drown yet u noe dat if u could juz push a lil harder u might break the surface. it's horrible. i want to break free. i dowan to carry on feeling as though i'm drowning without anyone noeing. i dowan to carry on forcing past the surface not noeing if i'll break thru. i dowan to like anyone anymore. i'm damn tired of hiding behind the mask dat i've worn ferr so long. I'd rather ppl hate me ferr hu i'm than love me ferr hu i'm not.
why can't u see the better side of mi? why muz you always be the 1 criticising and levering up ur expectations after i'm about to reach them? this is one of the few schools dat i can put down the mask and be hu i want to be ferr once. muz you even take dat away from mii? muz you insult almost everything i do, and take away everything i believe? muz you make mi see n do things dat u deem right but i dun? let mi make decisions of my own. let mi follow my heart and do wad i believe i can achieve. and juz sit back, wait and see the results.

If kisses were water,
I'll give you the sea.
If hugs were leaves,
I'll give you a tree.
If you wan a planet,
I'll give you a galaxy.
If you're blind
I'll make you see.
Onli if you'll care ferr me.

A fish once said to the sea," you can't see my tears becos i'm in the water."
the sea immediately replied," But i can feel them cos you're in my heart."
thankiews ferr feeling my pain even without my opening my mouth.
thankiews ferr always being beside mi to support and pick mi up when i trip and fall.

2006-06-30T18:00:00.000+08:00

i'm sick and tired.

hating a person is tiring

it's like clenching ur fist

and u'll keep on recalling wad the person has done

and u'll juz get madder and madder

till one day u'll explode
and when u finally learn to let go and unclench ur fist a lil
u'll realise dat u shuld haf done dat a long time ago
for it makes u feel a lot happier and relieved
but it's simply not fair.
lucky i haf a gr8 john didi and my gors.
always dere ferr mi.
a big thankiews.
i've decided.
i'm goin to concentrate on what's important in life.
i'm going to strive everyday to be a kind and generous and loving person.
i'm going to keep death right here in my heart
so that anytime i even think about getting angry at you or anybody else
i'll see death and I'll remember.
i'll think of the short time span i haf left to spend wif u and not bother whether it's my fault or not.
i wan to treasure every1 i haf rite now
all dat had made an impact in my life, esp
Pam dear & Char dear ferr always being there ferr mi
Vanessa ferr being able to see things the way i do thus making mi feel dat i'm not at fault XD
John didi & Josiah ferr alwaes making mi laugh (:
Srinath & mel dear ferr being such gr8 companions
and to all hu stayed by mii since the start of the semester
LOVES (:

Wrote this short swit poem juz now~~

The sweet, rustic smell of the rain

Fills my nose, my head, and my brain.

The springtime showers soak my dress,

and toes tingle with a grassy caress.

The beauty of this day is lost to me,

As the deaf man hears not the melody.

For all Nature's wonders seem so few,

When I am here, standing right next to you.

And I'm still waiting here, to catch you if you fall.

I don't know why I care so much when I shouldn't care at all.

Die einzige Liebe die ich will nur kann kommen von Ihnen

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

2006-06-29T20:57:00.000+08:00

i'm disappointed.
wif myself.
wif those ard me.
i dunno hu to trust animore.
i swore not to burden all my best frens down
at least not too much
i dunwan them worrying
y do i always end up doing it?
confiding in others to make myself feel a lil better
not dat it's wrong or anithing
juz dat when ur heart is confused wif too much things to store
it's always nice to haf someone enter and help u sort it out properly again
i miss the times when without thinking i could turn to anione near mi
i miss the times when things would still end up smoothly even though someone messed up 1/2 way
now everything's different
things dun appear the way they seem to be
they may surprise mi somewhere along the way
when they turn out to be the direct opposite of wad i expected
and although it may not seem as though any1 is affected
but way inside i'm feeling miserable
as to y god always haf to make things turn out wrong
even when i'm enjoying myself for once
he'll take it away
you'll sae perhaps it's a blessing in disguise
and i might nod my heart and agree half-heartedly
but deep within mi
i noe god is juz playing wif my life
using mi in his ways to touch others
to heal and help others
it's not dat i'm complaining
but i wish dat he'd not let mi get involved
not let mi indulge myself in the moment
till i'm reluctant to go when the time comes
i wan to turn back to those whom i could confide in last time
perhaps i still can
but it's not the same animore.
i'm seriously lost and confused le.
and not forgetting upset and angry
Anyone can become angry.
That is easy.
But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way -- now DAT is not easy.
and to get angry at a few pple is tiring & dejecting
i'm going to push the anger aside
cos to mi, i value frenship and trust more den most things we live ferr on this earth.
i dun wan to lose a gr8 companion or fren juz over some trival matters dat i'll laugh at less den a yr down the road
furthermore ppl often sae dat you can tell the size of a man by the size of the thing that makes him mad.
yuppies.
sho i'm not going to get upset over the series of events dat haf happened
but i'm still lost and messed-up
sho thankiews pam and char dears ferr always comforting mi
being there ferr mi and making mi laugh and directing mi back to the right path
think they're the onli ones hu understand the pain and worry i'm going thru.
sho i'm sure i'll be able to make it
cos i've gr8 dears like them !! <3
winners are losers who got up and gave it one more try.
sho i'm going to stand up again
i'm going to be a changed person becos & onli becos of u two
for the love and concern u all showed
i wun let it go to waste
i promise ^^

what does not destroy will make mi stronger.i promise to be strong. for as long as i can.

2006-06-28T23:06:00.000+08:00

piano acceleration test over le!! woots ~ xD didn't go ferr co today. after putting our bags in the canteen started walking ard the school.
CHAR IS A GR8 LISTENER !!!
hahahs.thankies dear ferr putting up wif mii throughout the walk, all the way from the canteen to the co room and back again, and den to the lockers. =) bet i complained ur ears off XD but it sure was nice having someone to share thoughts wif la. feels like 1/2 the load being lifted off ur back cos u noe dat there is some1 listening and always dere ferr eu. yuppies. after returning from the lockers sat down wif srinath den we 3 started toking like nobody's business. seems like today more den 1/2 the level super pissed off. hmms. we also no different la. guess the main problem is dat the foreigners dun realli mix dat well wif the locals ba. den end up like got one chiongin their heads off trying to come up wif ideas den the rest sit in a corner and heck care. sigh. to know what people really think, pay regard to what they do, rather than what they say. how true. see them doing their own things like no-one else exists in the world, how to approach? den at 1st maybe came up wif an idea, see like so lil ppl interested whole person also sian diao le, den dunno how to put across the idea to them somemore :S hahahs.from dere we started complaining bout this bout dat until shuang. hahahs. den felt sho much betta afterwards. ^^
school haven even started for a week, and now i'm oreadi starting to see different sides of ppl idat were never discovered in the 1st half yr. got gd & bad i guess. sigh. Some change my impression of them to be someone not as nice as they used to be or i thought them to be, some were like godsend angels all of a sudden appearing in front of me and comforting me. yuppies. so i think overall it will neutralise ba. XD guess these past 3 days lots of stuffs haf been occurring. made until everything so messy. oh wells. guess things will cool down after a while. can't do anithing much bout it aniwaes. sho i shall leave everything to God. he'll settled them ferr mii ^^ hallelujah! (:

You must never feel badly about making mistakes," explained Reason quietly, "as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.

2006-06-27T18:03:00.000+08:00

today 2nd dae le.
hahahs.
changed lots of subject teachers.
think sho far shuld be can handle la.
ferr the moment at least.
thankyou lord
yays.
going to take elements of music theory!
grinns.
hmms.
today didn't feel veri well
and was in a super bad mood
plus got some ppl dunwan to tell mi where i went wrong
and dat didn't help mii in any way
made mi feel worse
sho thankies to those hu helped mii thru this time
hu bothered asking and showing concern
hu didn't turn their backs against mii when i needed help
THANK YOU
esp
pam,char and mel dears
yupps ^^

lord i offer my life to u
everything i've been through
use it for ur glory
lord i offer my days to u
lifting my praise to u
as a pleasing sacrifice
lord i offer u my life.

If the first grape you eat is a bitter one then you will not bother eating grapes again. If the first grape you eat is a sweet one then you will be willing to eat a lot of bitter grapes in search of another sweet one.

2006-06-24T19:29:00.000+08:00

Found this story in one of the emails a close fren sent, felt it made lots of sense ~~

Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began one early morning.
Honestly speaking, no one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You could hear statements such as: "Oh, it's WAY too difficult!!" "They will NEVER make it to the top." or: "Not a chance that they will succeed. The tower is too high!"
After a short period of time, the tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one, except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher.
The crowd continued to yell, "It is too difficult! No one will EVER make it!" More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But ONE continued higher and higher and higher.... This one wouldn't give up!
At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top! All of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it, so a contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal. It turned out....
That the winner was DEAF!!

The wisdom of this story ~

Never listen to other people's tendencies to be negative or pessimistic, because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you -- the ones you have in your heart! Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your actions.

And above all:

Be DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams! Always think: God and I can do this!

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.

2006-06-23T17:45:00.000+08:00

exactly one week over since i posted. XD went cruise from wed to friday.yuppies.juz reached home less den 3 hrs ago. super tired, but it was a helluva fun trip. laughter and jokes all round. hey, waddaya expect when my aunt, uncle and grandpa go along? =) hmms. ate a great big deal for dinner as a 1st meal, den the ship embarked on its journey onli at bout 9. had to check in at 5+. yuppies.
the 2nd dae went to pulau redang in the afternoon. couldn't believe dat such a place actualli existed. white sand. fresh air. clean waters. one word-- HEAVEN.hahahs.had to queue up to leave the ship. the estimated time was like, 1330; we took the 1st step on the island at ard 3. had to walk a distance to the beach.threw slippers aside and luxuriated the feel of soft sand between ur toes. walked along the shore. gave up to the seduction of the clear seawater and started wading in wifout a care for the world. hahahs.dunno how to describe everything la. XD but returned to the ship at 6+. didn't haf to wait too long to go back though. den went for dinner before going for a performance called " kingdom of kungfu". super cool wor. dancers from all over the world & the kungfu masters from shaolin temple in china.
last dae le. didn't do alot of stuffies.had to pack everything. went to the arcade after breakfast at 8+. had to be pulled out of bed at 0745. XD the buffet on the 12th floor has a spread meant for a king. every course is covered without fail. it was simply astonishing how they could manage to cook so many different dishes but all wif excellent tastes. yuppies. den had to queue up again to get off the ship. guess there was lots of people with the same thinking as us den. oh and did i mention i played datona2 at least ten times in total? XD ( dat was the onli available game dere dat was interesting aniwaes)
yuppies. andand snowy juz got sent back from the pet hotel. yays! (:

If you do it you'll regret it, if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way you are still going to regret it,so you might as well just do it.

2006-06-18T11:03:00.000+08:00

oh man.sho fast today sunday le.left a week to slack XD these daes nth much happening la.wed had group studying in woodlands library.yuppies.understood a lil bit of the physics. jose super funni de.most of the time contradicting wadever gor said. XD
fridae went down to marina south to help out cos i figured it was kinda boring staying home dae after dae.yuppies.sho after going out wif srinath,mel,ryan and jose dat morning went straight over lor.super fun! wasn't beri busi la.grinns.
sat had twobee outing.met at jurong in the morning.yuppies.was SLIGHTLY late XD den took mrt to bedok and taxi into east coast.hahahs.our taxi dropped us at the end after turning LEFT.and our pit is to the RIGHT.poor us ended up walking ferr over an hour, from 61F to 35D. >.< yuppies.den we buried jiamin! hahahs.gave her a suberb figure! smiles.took us over an hour and 1.5 boxes of fire starters to get the fire going. THANKIES UNCLE! hahahs.we most prob would still be struggling wif it if it wasn't ferr this super pro uncle.he lent us the lighter,gave us a candle, den helped us start a fire. grinns.super nice of him.oh ya.the black pepper sauce was super nice toos!hahahs.made us eat the food whether it was cooked or uncooked. XD yuppies.dat's bout all.
HAPPI B'DAE JASLYN AND CHARMAINE !! <3

He who loses money, loses much; he who loses a friend, loses much more; he who loses faith, loses all.

2006-06-10T19:15:00.000+08:00

MICHELLE HAS OFFICIALLY STUMBLED UPON HER 1st WRITER'S BLOCK.
yuppies.
nth much to write about.
sigh.
3 more daes of boredom and missing to do.
hahahs
alrite den
ciao ferr now =)

They say it takes a minute 2 find a special person, an hour 2 appreciate them, a day 2 love them, but then an entire life 2 forget them.

2006-06-08T11:57:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
ytd went to sentosa wif dear.
met in the afternoon and went ferr a light lunch b4 taking the direct bus 855 to harbourfront.
yuppies.
walked ferr quite a long distance la, from one beach to another.
got lost!! XD
den played at siloso beach.
got nearly totally wet >.<
hahahs.
den went cycling
went ferr a tatoo toos!
grinns =)
kinda cool
went ferr the new 4d magix
or something liddat la. XD
yuppies.
took ENUF photos
den took 855 back.
went to burgerking ferr dinner
dear going to fast le
hahahs.
went home at ard 9
sigh =X
dear going overseas ferr the next 5 daes
leaving in the afternoon today
sho sad T.T

When God opened the window of heaven He asked me: "What is your wish for today?" I replied, "please take special care of the person reading this!"

2006-06-06T11:31:00.000+08:00

hahahs. went ferr a haircut yesterday.gah >.< even dear said i looked like a doll . T.T hahahs. ionno ba. kinda wierd though; suddenly sho much lighter and shorter at the back. sat at the salon ferr close to 5 hrs. XD went to the basin and back again ferr like, 4 light washes ?! hahahs. den reached home at abt 6+ . yuppies. i fell in love wif N80 !! grinns. haf been complaining to every1 close bout the designs and functions. dun eu think it's like N70 and 6280 combined? i mean, it has the slide function like dat of 6280, but the cam in front and the designs look like dat of N80. sigh. *green wif envy* i'll haf to wait till my b'day and see if the price would drop XD oh wells. i'm starting to count the stars and waiting ferr the time to pass.

to fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead.

2006-06-04T22:43:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
juz reach home not long ago.
yuppies.
this is like a triple blog at a go, sho might be a lil long =)
last friday went ice skating wif ryan winky & bren. winky is a super fast learner, i'd admit. it's like, a snap of his fingers and he can start skating wifout help in a mere 45 minutes. we skated from 11 to 4+. yuppies. den went ferr dinner at kfc. you shuld haf been there to see how bren was eyeing ryan's food. super cute. XD den was ard 6+ le. dear couldn't go home yet cos the keys grew legs and walked away from him XD den went to marina bay.yuppies. wasted bout 1.5 hrs juz liddat. andand fyi dat place is lyke heaven to mii.hahahs.the arcade was super fun! grinns (: cos i noe i'd win ferr some games. den went home ard 9.last min rmb had to finish writing some short msgs.hahahs.dead tired and my feet were complaining XD
sat went ferr piano lessons at 12.den waited at her house ferr the earlier student to leave.den she told mii dat dere was a world book fair at suntec ending on sunday. and they were selling piano scorebooks + the cd there at super cheap prices! hahahs.den i immed. called dear see if can accompany mii there. hahahs.totally forgot he had a family gathering.yuppies.den last min ionno y all cancelled ( i'm sorry, i forgot again! XD ) sho could go again.yayness! met at like 3.30 at the mrt station den set off. it was super crowded there la.hahahs. bought some books toos. andand i realised i can nvr ever attempt to find my way ard such areas.den went ferr dinner at yishun =) left at bout 9 ba.super tired when i reached home. lying on the bed toking on the fone den rmb had to finish writing the msgs. sian~hahahs.den finally manage to start resting at 12+.
today we had everything planned out le. even made bookings in advance. grinns. ryan's b'dae today (: met him earlier at the station cos along the way. den somebody late la. XD den went to cineleisure ferr k-box.yuppies.from 11 to 2.hahahs. jose's and mitch's and gor's prezzie to him -- the mocha walnut cake. super nice la. hahahs. den went to take neos after dat. pity john didi came bout 10 min l8r. den went to sam's house. lost track of time toos. den somemore lost our way XD sho reached bout an hour late.yuppies. his cat realli cute! grinns :) oh ya. played table tennis there toos. made 7 balls, if i'm not wrong, land in the neighbour's house. XD john didi dun worry la. not ur fault aniwaes. u're not facing dat directions x) sho is *ahem*'s fault. grinns. left at ard 8.30 ba. den reached home not long ago.
yuppies. at least i managed to rmb all the impt details till today :) yuppies. sho dear this is the triple post i promised, andand happi 15th b'day. hope u enjoyed urself today toos. <3
p.s. hope u liked the present (:

We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

2006-06-01T21:05:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
nth much to write bout todaes.
but haf to ying qiu my dear la.
bo bian >.<
haf to post here.
oh ya.
tmr going ice skating!
yayness! (:
hahahs.
going to teach winky how to skate
oh wells.
i'm a horrible teacher though XD
looking ferrward to it lots
andand sunday toos.
pity john didi cannot come =(
if not can laugh together XD
get over ur phobia soon kaes?
grinns (:
oh ya.
ytd went out wif pam and char dears
went from ten plus in the morn till like eight in the evening
thought i'll be late at 1st
cos i reached bout ten mins late
den *公主 arrived 1.5 hrs later x)
had lots of fun
pity didn't take neos wif 公主
hahahs.
go out again soon kaes?
yuppies.
late le.
haf to go sleep early if not tmr i'll be near late again XD
loving eu lots <3

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

2006-05-30T17:12:00.000+08:00

my mood is not totally rite today. ionno if it's juz dat i'm in the kinda mood where i'm like a blender mixing hyperness + boredom, which is a kinda fatal concoction. =X or i'm juz not feeling rite cos i'm trying to get things done and making them appear the way i wan them to be. aka, being selfish and acting like a spoilt brat. >.< neither looks gd. sigh.
had to go to skool again todaes ferr ferr the math olympiad today. actualli planned to meet gor n jose n ryan at the mrt station. den dunno hu la, last min break promises like drinking water so simply. hmphfs. though i'm not pissed ferr long la, but i seriously dun like pple who do dat lor. ~~not dat i'm blaming eu gor~~ **hint hint
hahahs. after the paper left abt 1/2 hr earlier. den waited ferr every1 to come to a decision.ferr dat it ate up the whole 1/2 hr. sigh. den finalli figured dat no matter where the final decision led us to, i'd most prob still be going home. XD sho left 1st lor. sorry ah, wasn't pangsehing u all la.
yayness! today's like the beginning of the long long hols juz grinning in front of mii. =) hahahs. looking ferrward to tmr outing wif pam dear toos! <3
i miss 2b alot all of a sudden.i seriously onno y either. but it's not dat 06304 is not gd or anithing.in fact, mii thinks i made much more frens here faster then aniwhere else. andand i've lots of fun here wif my gors and didis. but it's not the same feeling animore.there isn't that united feeling where we played pranks on tchrs blar blar. i miss u guys! andand i'll try to make it to the bbq. i promise, jingni and siying and chris dear! <3 rawk on 2bians! (:
oh wells. like this entry super long XD hahahs. gtg ferr now (:
<3 eu dear

Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.

2006-05-28T21:13:00.000+08:00

tmr is the meet the parent session le
hahahs.
find it kinda hard to believe dat sho fast 1/2 a yr past le
still can rmb the 1st few daes of skool
orientation n stuffies
hahahs. (:
lots of fun den =)
oh ya
b4 i ferrget
thankies again to nic gor
help mi edit the skin
sigh
guess i'm still a com idiot afterall XD
hmms
got this lyrics from a song sung at the adult service today
somehow, it reached out to mii in a way dat no other song can
esp the chorus
ionno y either XD

lord i give you my heart
i give you my soul
i live for you alone
every breath that i take
every moment that i'm awake
lord haf your way with me

Always behave like a duck - keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath.

2006-05-27T18:44:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
wad a weekend.
oh wells.
nth veri interesting though. and bet this month is going to be super boring. Other den going ferr gatherings and stuffies, i think i'm juz going to stick to the lappy and slack at home XD oh yea, went out on friday to plaza sing. at 1st wanted to watch dvc de, but reico gor and ben came l8r den expected, sho switched to x men 3. it was okie la (: hmphfs.
I AM ONLY ONE YEAR AND SEVENTY DAYS SHORT TO LEGEALLY WATCH THE DAVINCI CODE.
haish.
not in a veri gd mood today. andand onli few noe wad happen, sho shall not elaborate here and bore ppl to tears x)
oh yuppies
i passed physics! yayness! pop the champagnes (: andand i got 2 shocks in a row on fridae.and all in less then ten minutes. totally a blessing dat i didn't die due to a heart attack on the spot.
1st ~wasn't realli a shock la.juz... more of disappointment i guess.took back the paper.flipped to the back in anticipation.added up the figures.heart sank.yuppies.dat summed up everything. i didn't want to believe that i came dat close to passing.
2nd ~ the teacher announced dat the passing grade was 35.i leapt up from the seat.eyes opened wide. practially screamed.oh wells.the heart floated up again.guess its density level wasn't dat high afterall.
waddahell.i'm starting to crap here le.hahahs. nothing else i guess. hmms. an uneventful dae sho far (:
i miss eu <33

Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless.

2006-05-23T14:29:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
by today we got back most of the papers le, leaving onli the last dreaded physics. T.T it's MIRACULOUS though --- i actualli passed every subject sho far! i repeat myself, PASSED!! hahahs. i'm over the moon rite now =) hallelujah!
whee~
XD although the results are not fantastic, i proudly announce to all who even bother to care, to compensate for my sudden breakthrough in the chinese language, my english dropped to a shocking 36.5/50.which is the most ironical thing ever lah. i mean, HELLO ??!! it's usually the other way round lor. and at that time i was super sure that even pigs were flying around in the sky. i re-recheck the english paper and tried to pinch myself awake from this nightmare. then i even double checked my chinese script to make sure that i wasn't in dreamland. now i dunno whether to laugh or to cry. to make matters worse, i actualli started off wif the correct answers ferr a no. of qns but cancelled them out cos i wasn't that sure.and this applies to almost all the papers.

andand while i was chiding myself ferr not trusting my instincts, i could have sworn i heard quiet laughter from above.it's not funni, do you hear me?!

and i nearly stabbed myself to death wif the pencil in my hands.

Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you; but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.

2006-05-20T20:12:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
sho fast onli left wif a dae to enjoy myself le
den monday going to get back most of the papers
>.<
oh wells.
having a mental block rite now.
XD
but today was a hell of a day.

today
is the day i woke up grudgingly after 2 miserable hours of deep,deeeep sleep
today
is the day i brought meimei to northpoint to buy some prezzies and all of a sudden when we reached home i realised that i caused a big hole in my pocket, ahem, wallet.
today
is the day where i caught a totally unreasonable bout of flu
today
is the day i chatted a few peep's ears off after *cough cough* 5.5 hrs on the phone.
today
is the day when i didn't feel like bothering bout anithing at all
today
is the day i laugh when somebody laughs.and laugh when no-one laughs. h.a.h.a.h.s.
today
is the day when i wanted to count stars in a sky of total darkness.

therefore was a bloody hell of a day.XD

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage.

2006-05-17T20:21:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
exams over le!!
yayness! XD
* ecstatic grin *
yuppies
todae after last paper maths behind betting and gambling
mel & char dears, cheng gor, john di di, jose & ryan & srinath and mi
went laserquesting at bukit batok
hahahs.
fun lar.
but john didi scary lor XD
*knock into him den he whips around and points the gun at you*
but yuppies
still dat 10 short mins was worth it
proved dat not all cs players are accurate
wif the exception of josiah >.<
hahahs.
whee~~
siao liao
now exams finalli over den super hyper
grinns (:
looking ferrward wif much anticipation to
- shopping
- k-boxing
- ice-skating
- watching movies
-sleeping
XD oh wells.
looks like it'll be a super crammed june holidae
where there'll be a big hole in my pocket >.<
hahahs.

MICHELLE HEARBY PLEADS FERR PPLE TO WATCH MOVIES & GO K-BOXING WIF HER ! XD

dun ask mi ferr an answer now. even i'm confused. even i can't differentiate wad's reality and wad's not. even i can't see the full eu now. even i can't tell eu wad's wrong and wad's right. i dun wan to see a frown on ur face, but even i dunno wad the answer is going to be.

2006-05-13T22:35:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
yesterday was my grandfather's b'dae.
went down to celebrate wif the whole family.
though had to wait quite long la.
nth much le (:
oh yea
the cake was from angie's choice
cost 300+ bucks
cos is specially-made de
yuppies
super nice!
hahahs.
had durian filling
and some durian in it as well
as in, REAL durian flesh
XD i'll grow fat!!
oh wells.

HAPPI 71st B'DAE YE YE ! <3

god placed eu in my life ferr a reason.but i like eu too much to make eu stay.

2006-05-11T14:29:00.000+08:00

today
the sun rose from the west.
the earth revolved round the moon.
cows grew wings and flew.
it rained kittens and puppies.
i could do math!

sounds incredulous huh?
AMAZING
i could actualli do co-ordinate geom
AMAZING
i could understand the matrices qns

think someone up there is realli playing wif my life. its like he's an oscar award winner or something. twisting and having fun wif my life like it's a drama. something things are not wad they seem to be. i learnt it the hard way. >.< haf to face the world wif a mask of fake pretense. it's like, eu try to be strong but the pain keeps holdin' on, and all that you can do is cry. deep within ur heart eu know that its time to let go, it's time to move on. but it's juz sho hard to. thankies gor and didi ferr owaes being there to cheer mi up. eu guys rawk! =)

HELL
6 more papers.
and i'll be free.
*take deep breaths*

sometimes the most painful word might be the only solution to our problems of many years. although it will hurt like hell, goodbye.

2006-05-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

number ninetyfour.

hahahs.
now exam week
4 more daes to go :(
den 1 mth of play
yayness! (=
praise be!
hahahs.
looking ferrward to going out and having lotsa fun
yuppies (:
today sat ferr 3 papers worth 8mcs. seriously gonna flunk them >.< oh wells. wad's done cannot be undone anyways. english and physics and polynomial eqns and functions. english was okie la. had some extra time to check ferr mistakes after i was done. but ferr physics had a hell of a time. did structured first den ferr MCQs had to eeneymeeneymineymo. XD seriously there was a lack of time. ferr math toos. guess the school is realli dat time conscious after all. i mean, fifteen minutes wouldn't kill anyone rite? gah >.< they're juz horrible.

BAH
how many teachers haf said dat i'm inconsistent? XD think cannot count wif my fingers and toes liao. haish.

life is just unpredictable.and choices are seldom what they seem to be.

2006-05-05T16:54:00.000+08:00

yuppies.
now lazy mi is slacking again ferr a lil while
XD
today in the morning was the chinese paper 1.
wif a heart that was beating fast and hands that were slightly tembling,michelle prayed ferr help in her seat. she didn't want to get a topic that would make her mind go blank and set her knees shaking. she wanted one that would at least gif her some breathing space. the invigilators were evil people. they made her burn wif curiosity while waiting ferr every1 to write their names. then they asked ferr the ezlink card. and michelle felt as though someone had slammed a brick into her skull. she remembered leaving it in her bag outside the hall. it didn't start out well, but when she flipped over the paper, a wave of relief swamped her. smiling, she got down to work.

the paper was still quite okie la.
but ionno if i wrote out of point AGAIN.
>.<
after dat had chem bridging and co-ord geom
was quite alrite hahahs.
sorry guys if eu felt dat i was daoing u today.
it was juz dat i needed some time alone to think bout other stuffies
yuppies(:
sho no worries
i'm fine.
i hope.

our lives are not in our hands, they're in the hands of heaven

2006-05-03T21:59:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
received this sms from a close fren.
find it quite interesting.

On May 4th, 2006
at 2 min and 3 sec
after 1am
the time and date will be
01:02:03:04/05/06
it happens only 1000 yrs
our generation is lucky to encounter such a "blessing"
have a wonderful moment (:

Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.

2006-05-01T16:38:00.000+08:00

nobody understands.no one ever will.
i hate myself.
i'm crying as i type.
third time i just broke down this week
i know i sound like a crybaby and a weakling.
a loser toos.
but i can't control my tears.
suddenly everything seems sho overwhelming
andand i can't cope.
i'm not as strong as i used to be.
i hate that fact.
i question myself
why did i end up in this school
i suck at science
guess dat's how opposites attract.
the worst thing is, my parents don't even understand.
they don't even care about my state of mind.
all they want is good results.
good grades.
even though i sat at the study table for six hours straight
everything will just fly out of the window when they see the grades.
perhaps i simply did not mug hard enough for the tests
perhaps i was too distracted in thinking about the stuff i could do after the exams
perhaps i was using my hp too much
the thought of it just makes me feel worse.
suddenly i come to realise all these years of studying,
i actually studied just so i won't disappoint them.
sho that they would not scold me.
they say it's for my own good.
but i'm feeling like crap now.
now this is suppose to be good?
they claim they care.
they don't even understand.
i'm feeling lousy now and they just enjoy rubbing salt in the wound.
murder me, strangle me, poison me, shoot me with a gun, knock me down.
ANYTHING.
i dun care.
juz finish me off.
someone juz pick me up from this nightmare
i'm slipping off the edge.

i have a one way ticket to a dead end.

2006-04-30T20:17:00.000+08:00

Love is like pi — natural, irrational, and VERY important.

A bell is no bell
'til you ring it
A song is no song
'til you sing it
and love in your heart
wasn't put there to stay
Love isn't love
'Til you give it away.

In those whom I like, I can find no common denominator; in those whom I love I can: they all make me laugh.

2006-04-29T19:17:00.000+08:00

ellos (:
exam coming le!
sigh.
>.<
going to haf to chiong ferr next week.
sho maybe wun haf sho much time to blog here.
hmphfs.
oh ya.
btw,today went ferr the symposium.
met rv SCs!
hahahs (:
tongtong, xi & jiamin
and lots others.
yuppies
and the buffet eclairs and dumplings were super nice!
hahahs. XD
den left ferr piano lesson
took direct bus 855 to yishun.
mitch and mel took ferr abt 4 stops to queensway shopping center(:
andand
gor i'm not a pig okies XD

Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who are in love, time is eternity.

2006-04-28T18:48:00.000+08:00

hmms.
in a veri " thinking" mood today.
sho dun mind mii.
suddenly remembered again.
jesus is alwaes there ferr mii.
i can tell him
and onli him
everything in my heart.
everything i'm thinking about.
butbut
i'm used to bottling everything inside
letting every memory be
yet another scar on the surface of my heart
although it's alreadi webbed.
i feel sho lonely
sho left out
sho isolated
ionno y
i'm trying to put up a brave front
trying to separate reality & fantasy
trying to separate my social life & studies
trying desperately to pull everything together
but everything's falling apart
i dunno who to turn to anymore
i dun wan to burden ani1 down
sho i'm juz going to keep quiet
and lie low
and pretend dat everything's fine

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

2006-04-27T19:36:00.000+08:00

hmms.
today finished the chem test at 5.15
they decided to extend it ferr another 10 min
muz be thay realised we were struggling to complete the mcqs.
XD andand
the structured qns were killers!!
sigh.
>.<
sure gone case.
but at least jesus helped mii wif my physics
now i can understand much more (:
though its still not alot la XD
and thankies john di di and bryan gor
ferr trying to help mi wif chem in the library (:
sigh.
life isn't fair.
eu're sho near yet sho far!
>.< andand
now suffering from a lack of understanding in lots of subjects.
feel sho
trapped T.T
someone bail mii out of this "jail".
pls.
私がなぜかあなたのような人との愛で落としなさい

Maybe God has placed a few bad people in my life, sho that when the right one comes along, i'll be thankful. i'll remember to keep this in mind.

2006-04-26T16:30:00.000+08:00

heyys.
now going to start choingin a little ferr tmr tests.
>.<
physics and chem.
two worst subjects.
sigh.
juz practised a few extra pieces.
yupps.
feeling sho much betta rite now.
the piano is where eu can vent everything onto it
andand
it will juz let eu carry on banging.
I'M SORRY PIANO
XD
hmphfs.
i'm not hiding anithing okies?
and its not dat i dun wan to sae anithing.
is juz dat eu dun ask. XD
and leave it dat wae.
i'm comfortable juz liddat.
grinns (:

never say goodbye when eu still want to try.
never give up when eu feel that eu can still take it.
never say eu don't love a person when eu can't let go.

2006-04-25T19:19:00.000+08:00

ellos(:
yupps.
suddenly feeling super hyper.
XD hahahs.
put 2 pictures here le.
one is wif siying,nana and yawnroo.
the other is wif darlings reiko and mel.
smiles (:
eu all rawk my shoes! hahahs.
realli dunno wad i'd do wifout eu all.
hmms.
oh ya.
nearly slipped my mind.
had to remind some ppl not to think too much abt some stuffies.
XDD
yupps.
sigh. feel sho dead thruout this week sho far.
stuffy nose
a little sore throat+ cough
sigh.
guess i've to learn to live and let go.

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.and i'm falling ferr eu.

2006-04-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
juz reach home from the RI play at the old parliament's house.
XD super nice!!
hahahs.
i muz admit,Rafflesians do haf a knack at such stuff.
and they are juz as old as us.
>.<
hmms.
today performance okie la.
not too bad.
yupps.
oh ya.
early in the morning got accident happen somemore.
XD our class ah.
hmms. dat's bout it though.

Know i'm forever near, the one you can always call. Right now all you know to fear are the shadows on your wall. And when the world seems cold, And you feel that all of your strength is gone, there may be one tiny voice, ur reason to carry on.Rmb i'll be here.

2006-04-19T20:49:00.000+08:00

ellos again. (:
nth much today la.
had to stay back ferr speech dae rehearsal.
andand i can't believe that
we're going to perform the SAME song again!!
>.<
sigh.
and we're going to perform in the school uniform again.
oh wells.
looks like this weekend is going to be a busi 1 again.
not onli am i trying to avoid the impending exam week, there's lots of hwk to hand up on mondae and lots of stuffies to revise.
chi compo.
math test revision.
bio test revision.
chem test revision.
eng speech practice.
sigh. ferr now i can onli think of all these.
there is definitely more.
will update this later when i can rmb.
oh ya.
nearly forgot.

HAPPI B'DAE DARLING REIKO

我要我自己坚强，我知道我能做到，我要活得比从前更好，123 深呼吸。。。

2006-04-15T23:10:00.000+08:00

hmms.
today went ferr co practice in morning.
den in the afternoon did the airlift project.
hahahs.
our "rocket" super cute!!
and poor john got totally wet
hahahs. XD
yupps.nth much other den dat.
hmms.
and i got drenched in the rain when we were going to the bus-stop.
cheng-gor no air resistance
no mass to block the wind toos.
hahahs. XD
oh wells.
gtg ferr now.

我始终带着你爱的微笑，一路上寻找我遗失的美好，不小心当泪滑过嘴角，就用你握过的手抹掉。。。

2006-04-14T15:47:00.001+08:00

sigh.
and i thought i'd nvr like anyone again.
>.<
i like eu.
okie okie.
maybe its too early to tell.
hmms. den put it as
i ADMIRE eu.
ferr alwaes being able to remain calm.
ferr alwaes being nice to those hu are not alwaes nice to eu.
sigh.
but there's not even one in a hundredth chance that u'll like mi.
& even if u do, i dun deserve it.
sigh.
sometimes i wish i'm like the rest.
but dat's not going to happen.
sho i shuldn't be thinking sho much rites?
it would juz be building sandcastles in the air.
but it is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.
a feeling that can't seem to go away.
argh!!!!
i think i'll juz let the feeling fade away by itself.
as usual.
sigh.
den at least we can still be frens.
i hope.

If you give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your autumn fall. Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.

2006-04-13T20:57:00.000+08:00

heyys again. (:
last dae of school ferr the week! yays!! XD
yupps.
tmr is gd friday, when Jesus was crucified and died on the cross ferr us.
hmms.
guess wad?
there is 2 tests next tues, and another 2 more on thurs!
sho going to flunk them >.<
sigh.
exams are nearing toos. =X
cannot even squeeze out some time to revise everything le.
oh wells.
not going to do well in ANY subject.
haf to face reality huh?

if you can't be wif the one you love, learn to love the one you live with...

Her Christmas

2006-04-12T19:13:00.000+08:00

yupps.
this is one of the poems i wrote last year.
but i still enjoy reading it after sho many times. XD

HER CHRISTMAS

A christmas tree,
dusty and undecorated.
No presents
No lights
No family
No friends.

She sat in the middle of the olf
yet beautifully furnished room filled with exquisitive carvings,
Cross-legged on the carpeted ground
Playing with her old rag doll.
Laughing silently to herself
although her face was contorted in pain
A single tear rolled down her pale and hollow cheeks
and splashed onto her rag doll.

Books scattered all around her
old books with some pages torn out
the covers almost totally worn off.
She played into the dead of the night
All alone
Loneliness surrounded her and she felt empty.
Except her only comfort
Her cathy- her doll
A typical christmas.

those who appear to be very strong in heart, are real weak and most susceptible. those who spend their time protecting others are the ones that really need someone to protect them.

2006-04-11T22:24:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
i saw this article on the newspaper.
find it quite meaningful. XD

WHAT MAKES A MAN STRONG

~ the strength of a man isn't in the width of his shoulders, but in the width of of his arms that circle you.
~ the strength of a man isn't in the deep tone of his voice, but in the gentle words he whispers.
~ the strength of a man isn't in how hard he hits, but how tender he touches.
~ the strength of a man isn't how many women he has loved, but how well he loves a woman.
~ the strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift, but in the burdens he can carry.

yupps. think this article is worth pondering over. (:

Sometimes life can be a burden. i try to keep a step ahead. i got to keep moving on. but i can't do it alone.i need eu to be beside mii, helping mii along.walking down the road wif mii. ferr i'm crazee over eu.

2006-04-10T19:08:00.000+08:00

heyys. (:
nth much todaes. feeling super presurrized though.
these daes feeling super lonely and sad. T.T
ionno why though XD
sigh. and suddenly all the tests popping up & i dun think i'll even be able to pass 1 of them. >.<
tmr got a math test, wed got a chinese one, next tuesday and the following also math tests.
sigh. seriously need some help here.

eu doin that thing eu always do. breakin' my heart into a million pieces. lettin' it shatter & lettin' mii pick up the jagged pieces wif my bare hands.

2006-04-09T16:24:00.000+08:00

ellos again (:
i figured that 3 mths past since i left RV le.
miss eu guys lots :(
but i still haf lots of peeps to thank.
hmms lets see ~~

THANKIES

1. Jing Ni ~~ yupps. eu rock dear!! (: thankies ferr alwaes sticking by mii in sec 1 & 2 even when there was lots of complications.take care ah gal. grinns =)

2. Christina nana + Jiamin+ Yawnroo~~ my dears!!! hahahs. miss u all lots toos!!Nana, dun always cry when i go back la. make mii feel sho bad. XD although there was a misunderstanding at first, we still end up being super good friends. <3<3 ya all !!

3. Yeapie + Siying ~~ u 2!! hahahs.muz find a dae we go k-box together okies. Miss u gals!! (my dears toos although eu both dun like mii calling u dat XD )

4. Mel~~ melanie dear!! hahahs. gal u're an A* fren okaes. hope u'll always remember dat i'll be here ferr eu when u need mii. Lurve you lots!!

5. Pam + Charmaine + Reiko~~ my dears!! hahahs. eu 3 always there to cheer mii up... thankies gals!

6. John + Josê~~ hey bros!! although i'm not beri close to both of eu, but both of u are super cute and funni!! thankies toos . (:

7. Ryan + Srinath~~ guys!! eu both light up mii life!! hahahs. XD thankies ferr alwaes being there ferr mii and making mii laugh.(: Ryan, thankies ferr alwaes helping mii and letting mi haf my way in everything toos. (: Srinath, although u keep on bullying mii, but it alwaes end up dat u'll help mii and make mii smile. <3<3

8. Mitchell + Cheng~~ hahahs. my bros!!(: although u both are busi with OTHER things, but thanks ferr alwaes being there ferr mi when i need a listening ear. Grinns XD

9. Reico + Nicholas + Bryan + Eugene~~ my gors!! hahahs. thanks ferr never losing ur temper or giving up on this blur sis of urs. XD andand alwaes trying to help mii in every way eu can. Lurve u guys lots toos !! <3

andand
thankies to every1 i noe in rv, esp those from 2b'oh5
grinns
we rawk!! (:
erms. kinda lazy to write all the sorries today.
XD dat's all ferr now den.

Frens are angels who lift us back onto our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.

2006-04-09T14:13:00.000+08:00

hahahs.
sorry ferr this super short entry. XD
yupps. juz wanna thank nic here ferr wastin sho much time trying to help mii wif this blog.
hahahs.
thankies again nic gor !! (:

2006-04-08T19:32:00.000+08:00

saturday again.
a full week since i last blogged.
feeling super guilty.
XD okaes.
will write a longer entry todae. (:

sigh.i hate her.TOTALLY. she made mii stay back on friday juz to practise, and told mii onli after wed!! hahahs. speaking of which, on wed i was super pissed off. it was the full dress rehearsal, and cos i had the double performance on friday, and the violin item was juz after the co performance, i'd to rush over. nevermind bout dat. after the violin item ended, i couldn't find all the co peeps. den someone told mii that they all went ferr practise le. sho i rushed up and pleaded wif ryan and srinath to bring my violin to the library and my bag to mi as well. Thankies guys !! (: den when i reach, she scolded mi ferr the umpteenth time for goin' missing all the time. is her memory realli dat bad or do i haf to speak to her in other languages other den english and mandarin? I HAF TO ATTEND THE VIOLIN ITEM !!! sigh. den i was damned pissed off. wanted to slap her. den she announced dat we had to stay back on friday cos someone wasn't happi bout the speed we're going at. argh!!!( we were going to perform 发如雪 on speech dae)

on fridae, after the bridging modules ended at 3.30, i rushed to the CO room to practise, cos i had to attend the lit drama at the old parliment house at 7.30. ~~the others came onli ard 4.15!~~ den i told her i had to leave earlier to haf a shower before attending the play. sho i arranged wif the josê, ryan, srinath, mel, [nithin and nicholas (last min) XD] to meet outside the staff room at 5.35. den she gave mii dat kind of look when i told her i had to leave at 4.50 . i can't believe it !!

yupps. den we took the train all the way there. had kfc ferr dinner. mel look super pretti !! hahahs. and ya, thankies ryan ferr helping mii wif my things all the time.XD (and lettin' mi kapo ur water all the time toos) oh yes, the play we attended was "a beautiful companion". hahahs.nc-16. >.< but we still got in cos the requirement was that there was parental supervision. O.O the plot was super nice (: kaes. gotta go ferr now.

2006-04-02T18:58:00.000+08:00

heyys.
happi aprils fool peeps (:
sunday le. sigh.
sho fast tmr haf to go back to sch
and face quantum mechanics & math ><
but hey
look on the bright side
there's rollerbladin' tmr !! (:
( although the helmets stink and the elbow and knee pads look like they're abt to fall off XD)
at least during that 1 hr before school ends
i'll be able to enjoy miiself
oh ya.
next whole week's schedule is super crammed !!
esp on thurs and friday
hmms.
concerts after school on both daes
andand
performance on friday (during which i'm beri sure i'm going to embarass myself cos both instruments are new to mii and i'm super slow at music ><)
sigh. doesn't look too gd.
and i'm definitely going to flunk my 3 sciences.
in fact, i'll be happi if i can pass my math and lit toos.
sho many things to worry abt.
sometimes realli feel lyk i need someone there ferr mii.

lord, i need strength and wisdom to think.
and i need eu to guide mi.
please.

Heyys all

2006-04-01T21:27:00.000+08:00

ellos (:
blogging ferr the 1st time.
hahahs XD
nth much though.
slacking rite now.
kinda tired out after chiongin all the schwork.
oh wells.
price to pay ferr not paying attention in class is simply too high. XD
going to put more effort.
at least dun fall asleep. XD
sigh.
gotta go ferr now.